Sunday, July 03, 2005
9:07 PM
ANCIENT POST
A long long time ago in a galaxy far far away...... I posted my latest post......
I CANT REMEMBER WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I POSTED... UNLESS U LOOK AT THE DATE OF COURSE....
I'M GOING ALL OUT... I;M NOT BEING SANE ANYMORE!!! I'M JUST TRYING TO KEEP IT REAL....
BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!!!! ON DRUGS N LOVIN IT!!! PANADOL!!!
I'm gonna start on a SUPPPPEEEEERRRR UBBBBEEEERRRR LONGGGGGG POST!!!!
*cracks fingers*
ALRIGHTY THEN....
*cracks fingers again*
--LIFE IN THE FAST LANE--
i feel useless....... time pasts me in a blur of light n i can barely grasp anything....
Do u think i deserve to live in this world? what good am i to this world? have i done anything that is worth anything to others?? i feel inferior.... i can barely do anything that is useful to others n i am just a small parasite living off others...
other people seem so much better than me... i feel like i can do nothing but just sit there n feed of other people.... wad's the use of people like me??
I miss all my friends... but they definitely dun miss me.. dun care about me.. i feel so lonely while they all just laugh at me... y do i bother to eat when the food can be used for others who deserve it more than me.... the people in pakistan maybe????
they need the food more than me n at least i can feel better that my death would help others? i dun feel like living anymore now that no one actually cares about me.... does anyone care about me?? my frens dun care... they seem to avoid me whenever i try to meet up with them.... what does that seem to be like to u???? i feel like everyone hates me... wad's my use in this world? all the other people i know seem to be good in something.. i just cannot seem to find wad good i am in this world... a carpenter? a cleaner? just enuf to get myself n my parents through life?
i always seem to ponder over tha fact y i m still living... i should be dead... i dun deserve to live... i have nothing to give to the world... even if i were to like someone....
just an example.... if .... IFIFIFIFIFIFIFIFIF... i were to like someone... would that person ever see something in me? would that person even bother to get to know me? would she at least see some use in me or just dismiss wadeva i had done in my life as being useless?? i always feel inferior to others cuz everybody else in the world is more useful than me.. even the beggers who litter the streets of other countries? when i see others who seem better off than me, i feel useless.... i feel like i can never be as good as that guy n i can never make the person i even have the tiniest of feelings for to like me back... nothing i can ever do can make her like me cuz i feel useless.... none of my frens even seem to wanna meet up with me...
WHY????
WHY??????????????????
ask god
ask lucifer
ask yourself..
ask the bloody people who called themselves my friends...
i feel lonely and useless... wad can i do to make people even bother about me?
wad can i do to let those people who called themselves my frens to at least see some use in me to take up some of their precious time just to say hi? am i not even worth a few seconds to say hi to them?
would other feel anything if one day i were to die? would others at least feel some sorta hurt n sadness if i were to die?
would anyone care?? am i just some fella in the world with no one to care for?
i have practically no frens..... no one wants to see me anymore..... who cares about SOME guy who's SO irritating who keeps to just wanting to meet up with the people who r called frens??
u people out there obviously dun care about how i feel or even know how i feel... i may seem happy but that is just a very bad cover to how i really feel inside... inside i just feel suicidal.....
no one would feel anything if i were to commit suicide.. even the people i r so close to... my pri sch frends or my sec sch frens dun bother.... all i want is some freedom in my life.. i only have freedom when i leave the hse n i rarely leave the hse.... no onne knows how i feel inside...
screw life... i feel suicidal....
BYEEEEEEEE...... dun mind if i appear in the news tomorrow..... my frens r my only salvation n my frens r no more.....